For married men who are gay, the question is:

Why Be Honest?

Welcome to my Web site, where I’ll share my personal journey of coming to self-acceptance as a gay man, who happens to be married.  In the year since I came out to my wife of 17 years, I’ve learned a million painful lessons and experienced a range of emotions I never believed were possible to live through.

Yet here I am, not only surviving, but a basically happy man.  I have many issues and challenges yet to wade through, but I can honestly say I would not have chosen another route.

Why, you may ask?  If you are a married man who is attracted to other men, I KNOW I have your attention.  I’ve spoken with many married men who have attraction to the same sex.  Some consider themselves gay, but have not broached this difficult topic with anyone, much less their spouses.  Others believe they are basically heterosexual, but every now and then need to find out what sex is like between men.  

But most of you are just plain confused, as I was.  So wherever you are in your journey, I invite you to read this web site and draw your own conclusions.  This is foremost an account of my own experience, but you may well draw many conclusions relevant to your personal situation.

Although I’m from a deep-seated fundamentalist religious tradition that finds nothing wrong with a little finger-wagging and pulpiteering, I’m going to resist the temptation to tell YOU what to conclude.

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it would be that this issue is painful for everyone involved.  You must think through the effect of your actions, your thoughts, your issues, and your commitments, and make your own decision. Come out? But I’m married!

So who is this married gay guy?

I'm a 40-year-old married man who has gone through the painful process of telling his wife and family that he is gay.  I've survived, thanks to the help and insight of a lot of great people.  I wanted to share my story, in hope that other married men struggling with these feelings will somehow benefit.